Another day almost got away from me without blogging, but this time I remembered just as I was settling in to that relaxed, warm place I hope for as I wind down from a busy day. That transitional place that takes me from the full-on energy of my day to the soothing gentle energy that precedes a restful night's sleep. I usually need about an hour so, like an old woman, I toddle off to prepare for sleep allowing ample time to do my night time rituals and slip into drowsiness.
Most of my life I took sleep for granted - one of the lucky ones who fell asleep within 5 minutes of my head hitting the pillow and sleeping straight through the night. I didn't even move much so when I arose in the morning, the bed was barely mussed. Just a quick toss of the covers and it was made.
Over the past 18 years I have learned to appreciate the rare restful night's sleep. I know the difference now - what it feels like to have delayed sleep, sporadic sleep, insomnia, restless sleep, poor quality sleep. I've experienced too many mornings feeling tired due to lack of sleep - or at least restful sleep.
I remember fondly the years "before" - before sleep became elusive. Before I had to fight to stay awake during a quiet afternoon working at my desk. Before nodding off in front of the TV at night or while reading a good book. There are times when I think maybe tonight will be different and times when I just accept that it is what it is and I'll have to live with it.
Prior to "before" I can't imagine ever thinking that I'd have sleep problems - at least not until I was really old and completely inactive. Actually, I don't consider my poor sleep as a result of being really old and inactive now, but back in those days, I thought the age I am now was old. No wonder my poor body is confused...