After two days of writing whole chapters of my experience, I'm taking a writer's break by making a brief entry in my blog today. I'm feeling very grateful for a lifetime of tools available to me to work through anything and everything that comes "up" for me. I've been a slave to my many addictions over the years.
Each time I've made a conscious commitment to ridding myself of a specific addiction (and there are many) I've given myself permission to indulge in another addiction. I never thought of it like that but realized recently that immersing myself in a trade-off addiction allowed me to release one that was impeding my progress more obviously. I thought the most challenging was food - nothing could be harder to give up than the foods I couldn't stop eating. Well, it's been nearly two years now and I've developed a healthy lifestyle that includes healthy eating and I'm in a normal size body.
Much to my chagrin, I've discovered another addiction that's just as powerful as food! I got caught up in a pattern of wasting time with a computer game. I was spending more and more time completely absorbed in this darned game - yet another way to anesthetize myself! I made a commitment to my sponsor to close the game and not open it unless I called her first. Done! Finalized! Over! Right? Wrong! I have craved opening that game and playing it much more than I craved the foods I no longer eat! The only thing between me and that darned game is the commitment I made to my sponsor! This is why accountability must be built into anything I want to change in my life.
So what "lesser" addiction can I rely on as I give away the computer game addiction? Well, as it turns out, it's not a "lesser" addiction - it's an amazingly powerful one. I'm practicing an "addiction" to my connection to the Divine and Gratitude for the amazing opportunities open to me to make choices that keep me living my purposeful life. Always remembering that I AM my purpose - it is not something apart from me.