What's hiding in anger? Anger is such a quick, reactive emotion for me. In my dedication to living my life in conscious awareness - responding to life rather than reacting to it - I've learned to go deeper than the immediate anger that flares up in situations where I feel disappointed. A couple of things I've begun to understand are: the anger covers something older and is usually related to heretofore unidentified expectations. I've begun to allow my anger to burn through to what's hiding inside me.
Recently anger was my first reaction to feeling disappointed because I had expectations about my time with a significant man in my life. When those expectations weren't met, I reacted with anger. It was hot, instant, and completely out of proportion to the situation. Voila! Hidden under the anger was an older feeling of fear that he was abandoning me because I was unlovable. I'm still dismayed by how easily I slip into that most primal of feelings: fear that I'm not worthy of love from myself and others.
It takes me less and less time to move through my initial feelings of anger and into a clearer understanding of what's REALLY going on. Like the rubble in the aftermath of a disaster, I must uncover the truth, one piece at a time. I'm so grateful for the insights I've learned from being willing to go in search of the buried "stuff' in my life. These "truth treasures" are waiting to be revealed if we're willing to dig for them. Be courageous - go on your own personal treasure hunt - priceless gems are awaiting your light...
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