Monday, August 3, 2009

Accepting how we love...

I'm back into contemplating how I live my life alternating between "F"ear and "F"aith. I had my Grandson's 10th birthday party yesterday - a mix of families including in-laws. I love all of the preparation and hosting a party - it brings me such joy. I'm always exhausted physically but energetically charged after everyone leaves. This is the time I decompress - going over every nuance of who said what and the things that made me smile, or even better, laugh out loud. I feel such incredible love and these events rarely fail to feed my soul with that all-nurturing connection with others - especially those I love the most.
They also remind me of how I love. My need to feel deep connection with others often leaves me feeling disappointed - why can't he/she love me the way I want him/her to? Why can't I get back what I so lovingly offer? Although my inner wisdom guides me to fill my soul with my connection to my HP, I still occasionally lapse into my "F"ear mode and turn my back on "F"aith. I think those dark thoughts of lack, not enough, I'll never get enough love, nobody will ever love me the way I want to be loved, etc. Those shadow feelings can overwhelm me so I've learned that my best tool against this shadow is to choose to move out of my head where these thoughts reside and into my heart where I know for certain that my love is my gift and I can give it freely - it will always be returned. When I choose to accept love as it is given to me - regardless of what I think I want - just accept it - it grows, becomes fuller, more satisfying and a gift I can receive from others.
It's true that love is the only thing we have that the more we give it away the bigger it gets. For today, I will give love and accept love without judgement. Open my heart and my arms and let it out and let it in "F"aithfully...

2 comments:

  1. Toni... your heart is so big, I see you joyfully giving and receiving so much love that you are a beautiful fountain, overflowing from within as you spread the essence of pure joy and love and light that you are.
    Thank you for being you.

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  2. Toni, you couldn't have said it better for me...I am just becoming aware of my need for love...in a particular way. I am just getting that others love me the best way they know how. And I'm starting to gratefully and gracefully accept that love as their fullest expression!

    Thank you for this post!

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