Friday, March 26, 2010

DD#52: W8NC

That's what I'm learning - to W8NC! I remember many years ago, a young man I worked with would pick up his daughter from her kindergarten class and she'd spend a couple of hours with him in his office until her mom could pick her up. She was a delight and everyone loved having her there. She brightened our day with her five year old perspective on things. 

One afternoon, I stopped by to ask her what she'd learned in class that day. She was always eager to share her new knowledge with us - keeping us up to date with the latest in kindergarten education. On that day, she looked at me, smiled and said, "We learned how to wait in line!" She was very happy about offering that bit of wisdom and it made me laugh to think that they had to "teach" waiting in line to children. (Although, as a former teacher, I knew how important it was to establish boundaries and rules to help children (and the teachers) create the best learning environment given class sizes at about 25-30 kids per teacher. It was true that learning how to wait in line was an important part of that curriculum.)

Through the years I've thought of that many times and laughed at how cute she was standing there in her little dress, with her red, curly hair and blue eyes.  The other day it suddenly occurred to me that I still hadn't learned what she was learning in kindergarten - how to wait in line - how to W8NC. I get impatient  and prickly when I have to wait for anything, whether it's in line or for something I want - especially if it's something I want. When I want something I want it NOW, not later - definitely not a W8NC attitude. I have trouble waiting patiently to let things play out in their own time. I want to get out my carving knife and start whittling that square peg to fit it into a round hole. I want to FIX it, DO something so it's to my liking, taking charge, pushing through it, manipulating it, doing something, thinking I can get the outcome I want.

Lately I've been given the gift of some life experiences that I can't control and while my urge is to manipulate them, I've decided to finally learn how to W8NC what happens - in the Universe's time, not mine. Turning whatever "it" is over to the Universe/HP/God/Goddess, is the only way I can know if it's ME or the Universe that is working on the outcome. How can I know when I'm so skilled at working it my way? Unless I'm willing to W8NC, I can never know whether it's God's will or mine. My will has taught me many a good lesson, but I've mostly refused to LEARN from those gifts. So, on my knees, tired, and bruised, I can rise up with the faith, courage, and support of all who love me (including myself this time around:>)) and actually LEARN and APPLY this experience of letting go and living in the day and allowing things to unfold as God intends. No struggle, no hard work, no fight involved - just me and HP holding hands and trusting that all will turn out for the best. W8NC allows me to remember that the Universe has 3 answers to prayer: "yes", "not now", and "I have something better planned for you". That gives me hope and patience to W8NC how this becomes another miracle of growth and recovery - and for this I am grateful...

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