DD#25: Thoughts...

I want to feel light and happy - all the time. Is that unreasonable? I've been told that we attract to us what we think and on some level I believe it. Our thinking influences everything in our lives - like Henry Ford said, "Whether you think you can or think you can't you're probably right." That's why I want to think happy thoughts and positive thoughts and banish the darker, sadder thoughts - those "what ifs" that plague me when I'm feeling a little low. 

I begin to feel afraid that really bad things will happen to me if I don't straighten up and think happy thoughts. It reminds me of when my mom used to tell me to stop crying. It was like if I stopped crying whatever I was crying about would stop, too. How crazy is that? I just realized that's how I feel when I'm thinking darker stuff - like if I stop thinking or feeling it, whatever is causing it will disappear and I'll feel happy again. 

I'm confused about this and rambling, but it's bubbling up in my head and I wonder where it's taking me - to happy thoughts, sad thoughts, worried thoughts, loving thoughts, this thinking stuff has me in a quandary. I need to change my thinking, but I'm not sure it's possible to attain perpetual happiness and still be real. It's how I know that to be human is to have a full range of feelings and thoughts that take us in every direction, not just a one way street with no signs, cross streets, detours, or alternate routes. Gotta take the bad with the good...