Daily Discipline Day #7

Have you ever wandered around in someone else's head trying to determine what they're thinking and how to tell what they say or do REALLY means? For much of my life I spent way too much time doing just that. Trying to tell what people wanted so I could anticipate their every need or have answers ready for them when they finally spoke up - IF they ever spoke up. Wanting to be all things to everyone in my life made me feel needed and therefore valued. It also left me with more questions than answers.

When I realized that this was because I didn't feel valuable or lovable to myself it created a new direction in my life - staying out of other people's heads was how I could BE ME not some distorted interpretation of what I thought others' thought I should be.

Over the past year or so, I felt ready to build a healthy relationship with the right man in my life, so a few months ago I stepped back into the dating game. Let me say that this was a very courageous thing to do! I knew that I could only work on a healthy relationship with a man by letting a man into my life - duh. Some people get that early in life. Then there are those of us who, after numerous poor choices, are still working on it at the ripe old age of 63. I heard someone say it's because some of us have a broken picker - a statement that fit me like a glove.

My request to the Universe was to bring me the appropriate man for me and help me recognize him. (After all, some things don't arrive in the package we're expecting:>)) I've met and dated a few men and seen some of my old self in each one of them. What a learning experience this has been - putting me face-to-face with my old stuff! It's been a marvelous way to find the old clutter hanging out and clean every corner - also to realize when I've fallen back into the old pattern of wandering around in someone else's head - where I definitely don't belong. I'm learning to BE ME and be OK with all of ME a little at a time. The good news is that I don't have to start at square one each time - I get to keep what I've already learned and grow from there. Try it - go ahead, I dare ya!